When it comes to committing yourself to a simple maintenance act in order to improve your home’s hygiene level, dealing with plates, cups, knives, forks, and sporks after you’ve eaten is not an overly difficult task, particularly when you consider the overall health benefits to maintaining a clean home. Who wants to get some sort of crazy disease from a mold spore in their kitchen sink? I know these things seem to be really curable on House, but they’re not usually so pleasant.

But what is the cure? How can I save myself?

Yes, I still wear Crocs. No, I wasn’t cryogenically frozen back in the summer of 2006 only to be reanimated today. I wear them and I love them.

Well, maybe love is a strong word. I wear them because they’re convenient and comfortable. For a great many people in the fashion world, the phrase ‘convenient and comfortable’ screams ‘bad taste.’ Well, they’re probably right. To heck with them and To heck with good taste. I don’t wear Crocs when I’m performing with an orchestra, having a business meeting, or roofing. I wear them when I’m walking the dog, getting the paper, putzing around town, or cooking.

Today I ate ice cream with a fork. This may not seem like much of a big deal, but the result was far better than I had expected.

I just finished eating a nice healthy salad and wanted a nice unhealthy dessert. I got up from my den and went to the kitchen to grab a pint of ice cream and a spoon. Being that I’m a dumbass, I forgot to run my dishwasher last night and discovered that all of my spoons were dirty.