snewz

AARP lobbies Congress for Jaylight Savings Time

Sep 14th, 2009 | By | Category: snewz

Artist's rendition of what old people using technology might look like

An unexpected side effect of Jay Leno’s new show, The Jay Leno Show, has hit the American people. All across the United States, the American elderly have changed their clocks to keep Jay Leno’s television show on at 11:30. Now they demand that the rest of the country follow suit and alter the system of time-keeping by moving the clocks ahead an hour and a half.

A grassroots campaign began this morning at 4:00 AM EST (5:30 AM JEST) at nursing homes and senior communities across the eastern United States as senior citizens awoke en masse, 90 minutes earlier than their usual.



The Long Journey Home

Sep 14th, 2009 | By | Category: Featured Article, snewz

Viva le France!
Sit back and relax, citizen, while I tell you a true tale of my personal foolery while traveling home from Rome to NY via London.

The reason I was in Rome was that I had taken a course on Renaissance art and felt inspired to see things firsthand. Being a student, I booked the cheapest flight I could get (Air India), got myself a fantastically inexpensive hostel in Rome ($8/night), and traveled with only a backpack for 2 weeks.



Failblog’s occasional misrepresentation of failure

Sep 11th, 2009 | By | Category: images, revewz, snewz

fail owned pwned pictures
From the way I see it, this is not a ladder fail, but a reasonable understanding of the equipment. The only way there will be a problem with this activity is if there were a catastrophic failure of the hydraulics that hold the scoop up.

The real question is, how frequently do WINs like this make it through failblog, but marked as FAIL?



The Rootin’est, Tootin’est, Right-Wingin’est Response to Obama’s Speech to a Joint Session of Congress on Health Care.

Sep 10th, 2009 | By | Category: revewz, snewz

healthcarepiechart
I’m going to test my understanding of what American conservatism has turned into by responding to Barack Obama’s speech in the method that seems most contrarian. I hope that my new approach to American right-wingery begins a new phase for the glorious GOP.



A seriously reduced transcript of Barack Obama’s health care speech to a joint session of Congress

Sep 10th, 2009 | By | Category: snewz

I spent an hour with my delete key cutting the fat from Barack Obama’s health care transcript, as found on whitehouse.gov.

I did my best to remove the rhetoric and keep only his tangible ideas on health care reform. I apologize if anyone’s favorite sections are missing, but for a clear summary of the content of his speech, I feel this is a pretty good 3-page version of his 9-page speech.



Millions of Americans suffocate as President Obama endorses the act of breathing.

Sep 8th, 2009 | By | Category: snewz

September 6, 2009 vacuum party protesters in Atlanta, Georgia
Tragedy struck today across the United States as millions of Americans died from suffocation as a result of Barack Obama’s speech last night about the importance of breathing.

The trouble began weeks ago as conservative journalists and bloggers began to notice President Obama’s frequent inhalations and exhalations. Their online and television reporting led to a grassroots movement across the nation, in which self-proclaimed American patriots began holding what they termed vacuum parties.



Fudge Puckington #1 – Dirty Little Secret

Feb 5th, 2009 | By | Category: comics, snewz


Why the Obama Stimulus package bothers middle-aged white males.

Feb 2nd, 2009 | By | Category: snewz

I was recently reading in a forum about the Obama stimulus package, and saw someone’s argument against the bill. The comment was simply “wow this is pure pork read the bill folks” followed by a list of dollar amounts and what they’re being spent on. I felt it was appropriate to improve the comment by […]



How can you tell that your local newscaster is full of shit?

Jan 28th, 2009 | By | Category: revewz, snewz, videos

For a little while now, I’ve been watching a series on youtube called “Test it Tuesday” where a local Pittsburgh news channel tests out some of those As Seen on TV style products. I came across this little gem from April 1, 2008 and felt it was worth talking about: In this video, the newscaster […]



Barack Obama Inaugural Address

Jan 20th, 2009 | By | Category: snewz, videos

Barack Obama taking the oath, followed by his speech, followed by a transcript of his speech. My fellow citizens: I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as […]