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9 reasons the Northwest pilots missed their destination

Oct 23rd, 2009 | By | Category: snewz

airplaneIn the evening of Wednesday October 21, 2009, Northwest Airlines flight 188, which was supposed to land in Minneanapolis, missed its destination, traveling an extra 144 miles before realizing where they were and where they were going.

The NTSB plans to review the flight recorder information, but the latest news is that the flight recorder on the plane only stores 30 minutes of audio. With this limited amount of audio, the true reason for why these airline pilots missed their destination might never be known.

The pilots had explained that the reason they had missed their destination was that they were “distracted during a heated discussion over airline policy.” This explanation is the employment equivalent of telling your wife that you cheated on her because you love her soooo much.

Though we’ll never know for certain why the pilots missed their destination, through the power of conjection, we can come up with some real, scientifically sound theories as to why Northwest Flight 188 passed Minneapolis and kept going for 150 miles.

Why they missed Minneapolis

Passed out after attempting erotic asphyxia

Months after hearing about the death of David Carradine, these pilots found themselves in a heated debate, but it wasn’t about airline policy. Knowing that the cockpit is locked away from the rest of the cabin, they decided to take a moment for a little experimentation.

The earliest recorded death by erotic asphyxia was a classical double bassist. Not this one, though.

The earliest recorded death by erotic asphyxia was a classical double bassist. Not this one, though.

Too drunk to care

Although this is a little stereotypical of airline pilots, it is still a more reasonable explanation for missing a destination by 150 miles than talking about airline policy. Heck, if this were the 1970′s, everybody would be having a good laugh about it and the story would be over. Stupid progress.

Alcoholism is not a joke... except here.

Alcoholism is not a joke... except here.

Trying to avoid their next assigned flight to Delaware

Be honest. Would you rather be in a heap of trouble with your job and the government in Minneapolis, or be stuck in Delaware? I’d say that if the pilots come clean and give this as their reason for missing the landing, there’s no court in the country that would convict them.

Alcoholism is not a joke... except here.

Fun things to do in Delaware

Abducted by aliens

Although alien abductions generally tend to be limited to attention-seekers in the middle of nowhere, aliens have been bolder in recent months. They demonstrated in this video that they have the technology to abduct an entire plane, so it’s not unreasonable to think that they may also be able to abduct pilots. If the plane was on autopilot, the pilots may have been taken for quite a while and returned long after they were supposed to have landed the plane.

Flash Forward

Sure, the TV show Flash Forward may have effected the entire world for only 2 minutes. Just the same, as a television addict, I can’t imagine that such a phenomenon couldn’t be both real and isolated in a single cockpit.

Missed the exit and the next one wasn’t for another 144 miles

Surely this has happened to anyone who has ever traveled a long distance in the Midwest. One minute you’re in Chicago and the next thing you know, you’re in the middle of Nebraska. The only problem: You were trying to go to Ohio.

Forgot they weren’t playing flight simulator game

They really have become incredibly realistic.

They really have become incredibly realistic.

Attempted to steal the plane so they could sell it to the Ruskies

Perhaps it took them 15 minutes before they remembered that the Soviet Union has been dismantled. Maybe they realized that the plane they were in control of was a commercial airliner and not a secret government prototype. Maybe… just maybe… they were foiled by a group of high school kids who weren’t going to let their country down in its hour of need.

WOLVERINES!!!

WOLVERINES!!!

Made a wrong turn at Albuquerque

That's All, Folks!

That's All, Folks!

If you enjoyed this article, you might want to check out Top Ten Creepy Letterman Sex Partners for a look at people you don’t want to see David Letterman having affairs with.

If you’re into classics, Petey the Quaker Parrot: or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Hate the Bird is the article for you. It’s one of the earliest known Snewzbutton posts.

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