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There I was, with my big fat lazy ass sitting on the couch, putzing around on the internet. I meandered from digg.com to an article on some poor bastard who had been living in condo #4 in some building, but his deed said condo #5. The poor schmuck dropped $30,000 in renovations to the wrong condo, according to the link to kdvr.com.

So what the fuck does this have to do with failblog? God Damn it! Get to the fucking point!

Anyway, I notice a link to a shitpile of failblog images on kdvr’s website. I clicked to the collection when I came across this image:

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From the way I see it, this is not a ladder fail, but a reasonable understanding of the equipment. The only way there will be a problem with this activity is if there were a catastrophic failure of the hydraulics that hold the scoop up.

As my visual artistry is lauded across all of the internet, I offer a graphical representation of the lack of FAIL in this image.

I don't recommend letting your elephant climb the ladder.

This was not the first occasion that I have come across what has been deemed a fail that, upon a slight degree of examination, there is a misrepresentation of failure.

Realizing that calling failblog a sham based on so little information, I knew that the next reasonable move would be to introduce SCIENCE!

I examined the first 50 pages of failblog.org to see how many instances of what I deemed to be misdiagnosed fail I could count.

I knew I needed a method, so I constructed certain criteria:

1 – Anything that is called a WIN on failblog would not be counted, regardless of whether it was truly a WIN or not.
2 – Videos that provided some form of amusement (which happened to be all of them) would not be counted.
3 – I am not an expert at deciphering the pixels, so any and all images will not be judged based on how fake they are. If they’ve been shopped, I don’t care.
4 – Images that demonstrated ingenuity, functionality, or artistic merit would be counted.

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If a big ol’ stone fat ass bending over showing its owner’s twig and berries isn’t a sign of artistic merit, I don’t know what is.

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This one was on the edge for me.

On one hand, it was quite clear that the poster doesn’t really understand that a television projects light that is captured using whichever medium is used to record the images. That being the case, the reflection in the room of the actual mirror is reflected, but a mirror itself does not retain its reflective qualities, because the image on the television is no longer a mirror, but fricking light. Light does not reflect light.

On the other hand, the person posting the question didn’t know the answer and clearly had a thirst for knowledge. Perhaps the poster was a 9-year-old who didn’t have a basic understanding of the physics behind light. Maybe the poster was a 40-year-old who may simply not have known the answer. Either way, this isn’t really that stupid of a question.

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Now we go from one person who had no understanding of how light works to a person who really has a good grip on how to make the best of it.

An optical zoom is better for taking pictures than a digital zoom for a few reasons. Images taken with digital zoom negatively effect your battery’s survival time. Digital zoom can also, depending on your camera, basically just be a cropping of the optical image that you’re taking in the first place resulting in *shudders* a lower image resolution.

With this knowledge, the girl in the image is turning a camera with a 3X optical zoom into a camera with a 10-30X optical zoom. The real challenge is capturing what will most likely be an action shot while keeping the apparatus as stable as possible.

Either way, I find this to be an ambitious attempt.

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Speaking of ambitious attempts, how can anyone not think this thing is awesome?

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A 40-year-old, out of shape, balding guy beating the piss out of 2 guys half his age on a rugby pitch? Okay, maybe this is a fail for the guys in red, but the alpha male in this picture looks so uncool but dominates so well that I have to say that this is a win for all of the underdogs of the world.

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Ever buy some big-ass product on craigslist only to show up at the seller’s house and have to spend an awkwardly long amount of time disassembling it while the seller watches? I have. That reason alone is why I think this is a kickass win and excellent use of resources.

I imagine someone saying “Just toss that thing on top of the car and let’s get the fuck out of here!”

The verdict:

50 pages of failblog at 7 posts per page yielded 6 occasions of misrepresented FAIL out of 350 posts for a very impressive 98.3% accuracy according to my conditions.

Needless to say, I need to get a life.

<em>If you enjoyed this article, check out</em> <a href=”http://snewzbutton.com/2009/01/catapult-fail/“>Catapult Fail</a> <em>or</em> <a href=”http://snewzbutton.com/2009/09/the-long-journey-home/”>The Long Journey Home</a><em>, a tale of one foolish man’s journey from Rome to NY via Paris, Dublin, and London using only 6 cents and his wits</em>.