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Adventures in Laziness – I still wear Crocs

Sep 24th, 2009 | By | Category: revewz, snewz
One man's lazy footwear is another man's... ugly.

One man's lazy footwear is another man's... ugly.

Yes, I still wear Crocs. No, I wasn’t cryogenically frozen back in the summer of 2006 only to be reanimated today. I wear them and I love them.

Well, maybe love is a strong word. I wear them because they’re convenient and comfortable. For a great many people in the fashion world, the phrase ‘convenient and comfortable’ screams ‘bad taste.’ Well, they’re probably right. To heck wit them and to heck with good taste. I don’t wear Crocs when I’m performing with an orchestra, having a business meeting, or roofing. I wear them when I’m walking the dog, getting the paper, putzing around town, or cooking.

My Crocs have turned from novelty footwear to eternal slippers. I slip them off before I go to bed and step into them when I get up in the morning.

My dogs love them, too. Before I was wearing Crocs, I’d sometimes wear sandals, other times sneakers when taking them out in the morning. Sure, the sandals were quick, too, but having two dogs doing the piddle dance while simultaneously getting licked in the face and tying shoelaces made the sneakers an unreasonable ordeal for the poor little guys.

My dogs don't think this is an acceptable alternative to Crocs.

My dogs don't think this is an acceptable alternative to Crocs.

I know I’m not alone in the world of Crocs wearers, too. Here’s a list (with photos) of celebrities wearing them; some as recently as this summer. Granted, most of these celebrities are just out doing whatever trivial tasks which take up their non-glamorous lives, which is kind of my point. Hell, I don’t even live in a cool place like Los Angeles. I spend the majority of my time in Nowhere, Florida. A lot of people in my town have never even heard of shoes. Of course, my list of celebrities does have its bad points, too. Rosie O’Donnell and George W. Bush are pictured sporting Crocs, which was almost enough reason for me to burn them.

Brooke Shields was photographed wearing Crocs back in June, but she was recovering from foot surgery. That helps prove my point a little more. A lot of people say that they’re not comfortable or dangerous (?!!). I’ve heard rumors that people wearing Crocs get their toes sucked into escalators, for example. Well, if you’re dumb enough to have that happen to you, then you need a lot more supervision in your life. You also aren’t allowed to wear sandals, either. Actually, you shouldn’t even be allowed to move beyond ground level.

Go to a hospital or doctor’s office, and you’ll see the employees wearing Crocs. This is because they’re designed to give great support while standing and walking for long periods of time. Search the net for people who actually like Crocs and you’ll see stories from people who suffer from all sorts of medical problems from multiple-sclerosis to fibromyalgia. Their lives are greatly improved because they finally have a piece of footwear that allows them to use their feet.

In summation, I’m sticking with my Crocs. I’ve never been cool, and I don’t aspire to be. I don’t mind that you look down on me when I’m pumping my gas. Honestly, I don’t even notice, because I don’t really give a hoot what you’re wearing.

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  1. […] in Laziness, check out I Eat My Ice Cream with a Fork, the original Adventure in Laziness, or I Still Wear Crocs, the second in the […]

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