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Peanuts: Victim or Villain?

Jan 11th, 2009 | By | Category: revewz, snewz
A deadly menace

A deadly menace

Allergies to peanuts in the United States has reached epidemic proportions, with over 3 million men, women, and children affected. An allergic reaction is incredibly severe, with some sufferers falling into anaphylactic shock, which can result in a fast asphyxiation and death. But what about the rest of the country?
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297 million Americans don’t have a peanut allergy, and they suffer because of those that do. Parents can’t give their children foods containing peanuts, because other students may be allergic. Airlines can be instructed to withhold complimentary peanuts from all passengers because a single passenger has an allergy. Prominent food makers are changing their recipes to accomodate those who would not be able to buy their products otherwise.
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And the 297 million suffer silently.
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Sorry, Johnny. No snacks for you because Timmy is allergic.
Sorry, Johnny. No snacks for you because Timmy is allergic.

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Soon, we may live in a world where all peanut products will be disposed of, never to return. Peanut M&M’s will be reviled in future generations like lead paint and asbestos is looked at now. The complete works of George Washington Carver will be burned and his monument in Missouri will be razed to the ground. Elephants will die out completely unless we, the silent majority, go out and do something.

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The future of peanut butter

The future of peanut butter

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So go forth, all of you who are not deathly allergic to peanuts! Eat a Snickers in public without shame. Plant a peanut bush. Take a bath in peanut butter. Don’t just do it for yourselves. Do it for the future of America. Do it for the children.

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