As many of you heard, there are new restrictions that have been placed on people traveling by air. Initially, the requirement was that passengers were required to sit in their seats without touching anything for the last hour.

Fortunately, the insanity of making millions of airline passengers sit on their hands for an hour overwhelmed the air travel industry and the TSA has now decided that these restrictions will be applied on a case-by-case basis at the discretion of the flight crew. Presumably, this means that any time you are on a flight that has at least one non-white person, the flight crew will invoke their right to make your trip miserable.

As Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid announces the US health care bill, we here at snewzbutton offer our solution for a filibuster-proof manner to get the public option into the US health system. This is an easily understandable fear, as there are undoubtedly a number of Republican Senators chomping at the bit to remake Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.

Realistically, any filibuster is not likely to last forever, and even if the Republicans filibuster for a month, at the end the Democrats have the votes to pass the bill and that means that by Christmas, thousands of little boys and girls will get their chemo treatments that their little lives depend upon.

I was recently in the bathroom at my job, and there was a poster on the wall giving advice to people who use their cellphones while on the toilet. The poster was produced and advertised a specific cell phone company (*cough* sprint *cough*), and gave such advice as hitting the mute button when flushing and offered suggestions for explaining the “strange background noise.” Ever since seeing this poster, I have been putting a great deal of thought on the issue, and feel that it is my civic duty to tell the world why I think the practice should be ceased.

Though we’ll never know for certain why the pilots missed their destination, through the power of conjection, we can come up with some real, scientifically sound theories as to why Northwest Flight 188 passed Minneapolis and kept going for 150 miles.

When it comes to committing yourself to a simple maintenance act in order to improve your home’s hygiene level, dealing with plates, cups, knives, forks, and sporks after you’ve eaten is not an overly difficult task, particularly when you consider the overall health benefits to maintaining a clean home. Who wants to get some sort of crazy disease from a mold spore in their kitchen sink? I know these things seem to be really curable on House, but they’re not usually so pleasant.

But what is the cure? How can I save myself?